I’ve been here once before. It was when I first moved to Nevada and I had to get my residential and insurance affairs in order. I was distraught about giving up my California residency, something I had as part of my identity for the entirety of my life thus far. My gut wrenched as California instituted a gender marker “X” on drivers licenses starting the month I moved. I came out as gender non-binary just months before. Yet there I was, in Nevada, getting a drivers license, circling that little “F," silently crying for my identity.
Fast forward to three months. I’ve just turned 29 and I am feeling good about the move to Nevada and the life I’m making for myself. A dear friend who still hasn’t quite gotten the hang of my pronouns (they/them/theirs) asks if I’ve heard about the non-binary option for Nevada residents on their drivers license.
I hadn’t. How had I missed this? I knew about California’s for months ahead of time, and Nevada’s had gone into effect the day before I'm hearing about it.
This moment was one I had been waiting for, yet I didn’t quite know what to do with. I had written off changing my gender marker as an option for me, so I was trepidatious about committing so quickly without thinking it through. Then I realized I wanted the Nevada DMV *flooded* with people changing their gender marker, illustrating how important this is. I needed to be part of that demonstration. I searched the internet to figure out what I needed to do. From what I could tell I just needed to go to the DMV and renew my license that was only three months old. I would simply have to choose “X” as an option and pay the renewal fee.
Driving up to the DMV two weeks later, my mouth got dry, but also somehow had too much saliva in it. I hadn’t told anyone I was doing this and suddenly I felt very alone. I walked inside and checked in. They handed me the yellow form for a license renewal, I scanned it quickly and staring at me were only two letters: “M” and “F”.
“Excuse me, I’m here to change the gender marker on my license and I only see two options.” I am informed that the computer system is ahead of the paper forms. I simply have to let my helper know that I’d like an “X.”
Fast forward to three months. I’ve just turned 29 and I am feeling good about the move to Nevada and the life I’m making for myself. A dear friend who still hasn’t quite gotten the hang of my pronouns (they/them/theirs) asks if I’ve heard about the non-binary option for Nevada residents on their drivers license.
I hadn’t. How had I missed this? I knew about California’s for months ahead of time, and Nevada’s had gone into effect the day before I'm hearing about it.
This moment was one I had been waiting for, yet I didn’t quite know what to do with. I had written off changing my gender marker as an option for me, so I was trepidatious about committing so quickly without thinking it through. Then I realized I wanted the Nevada DMV *flooded* with people changing their gender marker, illustrating how important this is. I needed to be part of that demonstration. I searched the internet to figure out what I needed to do. From what I could tell I just needed to go to the DMV and renew my license that was only three months old. I would simply have to choose “X” as an option and pay the renewal fee.
Driving up to the DMV two weeks later, my mouth got dry, but also somehow had too much saliva in it. I hadn’t told anyone I was doing this and suddenly I felt very alone. I walked inside and checked in. They handed me the yellow form for a license renewal, I scanned it quickly and staring at me were only two letters: “M” and “F”.
“Excuse me, I’m here to change the gender marker on my license and I only see two options.” I am informed that the computer system is ahead of the paper forms. I simply have to let my helper know that I’d like an “X.”
apprehensively waiting For a moment I second guess myself. This morning, after I had made my DMV appointment I went to buy a plane flight for later this summer. I didn’t know what to chose for gender. There was an X option, but until I knew that was going to be on my license I wanted to wait. I questioned this choice then, too. Yes that airline had the option, but what if others didn’t? Was this going to make my life even harder? Was this going to be a choice that I would question many more times over the course of the next 8 years with this tiny piece of plastic?
My number (A1147) is called and sent to counter 3. My helper has never done this and asks me for legal documents. I do not need these, according to the articles I have read. I inform her of this and she takes my license away to go ask for help. I sit there, alone, pondering if this is more trouble than it’s worth. Wondering how others in this same situation are faring. After six minutes I hear distant laughing coming from the office I watched my helper walk into. I try not to feel like they are laughing at me. She comes out moments later.
My number (A1147) is called and sent to counter 3. My helper has never done this and asks me for legal documents. I do not need these, according to the articles I have read. I inform her of this and she takes my license away to go ask for help. I sit there, alone, pondering if this is more trouble than it’s worth. Wondering how others in this same situation are faring. After six minutes I hear distant laughing coming from the office I watched my helper walk into. I try not to feel like they are laughing at me. She comes out moments later.
smiling. After sitting back down and replacing the keys into her desk drawer, she asks me some questions about my address and birthday. I am instructed to write an “X” next to the “M” and “F” and to circle it. I do this. I give her my credit card for the $9.25 fee. Papers are handed to me and I walk over to the photo station where I sign my name and get a “VOID” shaped hole punch in my previous license. I am asked to take off my glasses and to tuck my wild curls behind my ears (for face recognition software). The photographer says “you can smile if you want to.”
And I do smile, because I do want to, because this hassle is worth it. Because in 7-10 business days my main form of identification with align with how I identify. Yes, moving forward it’s going to be more cumbersome than if it was a tiny “F” on that card, but at least it will be accurate.
And I do smile, because I do want to, because this hassle is worth it. Because in 7-10 business days my main form of identification with align with how I identify. Yes, moving forward it’s going to be more cumbersome than if it was a tiny “F” on that card, but at least it will be accurate.
